so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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