yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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