Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have feelings that need drinking.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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