i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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