There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
