id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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