mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
