is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
