can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ketchup is God's man juice
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Randomize
