worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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