I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
