NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
