Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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