I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
