I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
