Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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