Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
