It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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