Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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