I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
