OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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