How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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