Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
