So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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