She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
not ubering you a puppy
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
