Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
