i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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