My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I cannot find my penis.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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