did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
