get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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