Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
