Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
