I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
