I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Farmville is her only friend.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
