Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
