So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
