I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
