During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
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Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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