I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
