so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
