Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She needs sedatives and a leash
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
