That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I want a musical about memes.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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