dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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