you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
