She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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