Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
