i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
