you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Sorry my hands just texted you
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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