when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
