hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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