I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
