Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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