Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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