Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
