The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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