I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
