he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
