I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
