He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
