i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
try to milk me bitch
Randomize