Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
