Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
this just has baby written all over it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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