so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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