i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This is classic penis vs brain.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
