are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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