It's Friday. Sex?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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