So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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