your thong is hanging out like whoa
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
