Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
